Got a lot of debt? You are not alone!
One of the major reasons that I created this blog was of course for accountability. I felt like if I put it all out there and y’all could see it, then it would make me get up off my ass and stop playing around. We’ve started this thing a few times before, but we always go back and I didn’t want to do that anymore.
An even BIGGER reason was to show you all that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
Showing our transparency through this journey, I’m hoping, will help open up some of your minds to discuss your money and do something about it.
Why we keep our debt secret
So many of you are out there thinking that you are the only one living paycheck to paycheck and barely keeping the lights on. You see your friends out here #LivingTheirBestLife and it makes you wonder “why not me?”
I am here to tell you that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! And it is okay.
Most people are just too embarrassed to admit that they are drowning in debt. I was one of those people.
It isn’t fun to admit that you are nearly $200,000 in debt and you don’t really have much to show for it. Who wants to admit to all of their friends that they can’t afford to pay attention let alone some of these bills that need to be paid. It can be completely embarrassing….if you let it.
Your neighbor is likely living paycheck to paycheck too
So don’t be surprised or embarrassed.
I am not going to be the one to bore you with statistics here, but I would bet you my last taco (and y’all know how much I love tacos) that if you’re hanging with a group of ten friends right now that at least 4 of them are one paycheck away from being homeless….and at least 2 more are maybe two or three paychecks from losing it all.
I remember a specific conversation where we found ourselves in a planning session with our friends about our next outing. It would be a nice sit down meal that would be somewhere between $60-$80 per person. Every person in the group agreed that we should do it and was excited about it!
Y’ALL!!!!!! Listen to this! (Well read it, but you know what I mean)….
About a month prior to that we were working with the gas company to make sure that our utilities at home were not going to be shut off. WHY IN THE ENTIRE HELL were we sitting there agreeing to go on an outing that would cost us about $150 when we couldn’t pay our gas bill?
And this is one reason why I think that so many of us are still in debt.
This shouldn’t have even been a 2nd thought. We should have immediately been like BRUH that ain’t gon’ work! But of course what do we do…..we fall into the discussion just trying to “fit in”.
And before y’all start saying “I ain’t trying to fit in with nobody….” Save it….we have all done it at some time and that is fine. This is about us figuring out how to break out of the cycle that is causing us to stay in debt.
How do you say no to going out with your friends?
It’s pretty easy….let’s practice….
Take a deep breath, look at yourself in the mirror and say this one time very firmly……
You could also use variations like Uh uh….not this time….NAW…..Hell to the no Bobby…..I don’t care, whatever works for you.
How did that feel? Was it hard? If it was then practice it again. If the mirror isn’t working then say it to the dog. Whatever you need to do to get into the habit of saying NO just do it until you’re comfortable. If you don’t, you’re going to find that you’re constantly trying to fit in when you just don’t have the budget for it right now.
Your friends ain’t got no money either…..
Learning how to say no to the things we know we can’t fit into our budget right now is going to be one of the most important steps in obtaining your debt freedom goal.
But know this………Most of the times your friends can’t afford that mess either! So why are we all stunting like we ain’t got debt?
Out of that group of ten friends that were planning to go on the $80 per person outing, probably only one of them didn’t pause for a second to think about how they were going to pay for it (at least for this group of particular friends). I do have another circle of friends who could probably go up to the $250 per person outing, but I only hang out with them at the BBQs and card parties for now….I will chill on their level once I hit my $0 debt goal LOL
The point is because we are too ashamed to talk about these things or to just flat out say “No! That’s not in my budget” we are digging ourselves deeper into a financial crisis. We don’t want to look like the broke friend so we will pretend we can afford the $80 meal, but next week our cell phone is about to get shut off.
How do we have more honest discussions about money?
We definitely need to start by being honest. I can honestly tell you that I was one of the friends who had champagne taste living on a domestic beer budget (yeah that’s right….not even the imported stuff I was barely making by on my bud light and Colt 45 budget).
But people look at us and assume we got Dom Pérignon bank accounts.
NAH BRUH…..not with all this debt. Sometimes we barely can find a way to get that 22 Ounce bud light. But that is one of the reasons why I created this blog. I hope that we can be a catalyst for this conversation. I think if more of us talked about it, then more of us could have a better handle on how we manage our money with our families.
I don’t want my kids growing up not understanding money like I did. I am still learning things about finances and how to budget although I have been living on my own since I was 17!
The key here is not to be embarrassed and to know that it isn’t just you. It is true your friends may have a nice house and car, they are shopping at the high end stores and traveling to the most exotic places in the world…but they also may be in debt up to their eyeballs! (Y’all remember that commercial? LOL)